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(no subject) [Nov. 28th, 2007|10:47 pm]
Winter time. I love the cold. Terrible day today. Can hardly write a sentence. Wish I could just fast forward to my birthday. Even if I am feeling incredibly lonely and don't have many to share it with. Except Mallory and Chase who said they would party it up. Hopefully New York for New Year's. Depends on the money situation. I wish smoeone would just tell me everything is going to be OK.
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(no subject) [Sep. 1st, 2007|10:21 am]
I'm published!
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Day one of my last semester. [Aug. 20th, 2007|05:58 pm]
[mood |bouncybouncy]
[music |The Used]

First day of school: one class down, one that I didn't go to. It's a Pima Spanish class and I'm still trying to decide which section will fit into my schedule better...so I decided to sleep in instead. My other class, the Star apprenticeship class seems like it will be fun and all apprehensions I have about it are basically normal for the most part. I think the instructors are intelligent and will help me get to where I need to be in my journalistic writing. Tomorrow, I have RPA and El Indie, and aside from all the horror stories I've heard about the latter class' instructor, I'm still excited. I'm hoping that I can get into my Wednesday class, a creative non-fiction writing course that's just up my alley. I'll be begging to be let in.
I finished Love is A Mix Tape today and I'm starting on Political Fictions by Joan Didion while reading Watchdogs of Democracy by Helen Thomas. Yup.
Going to book a ticket to L.A. today for a job conference. And life is officially starting, I'm okay with it.
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I don't care if I'm a dork. [Aug. 19th, 2007|04:13 am]
[mood |awakeawake]

A short list of what I'm lovin' right about now:
*splurging on beauty essentials
*conversations about acceptance of self
*late night bike rides and photographs
*cheap housing that I WILL find!
*school in one day!!!
*page designing for the Wildcat in less that 12 hours!
*being so busy I feel like my head is going to fall off, but then remembering that it will end...and soon enough I'll be joking and laughing (so hard that I cry) with my co-workers
*Track 4 on the new (to me) Metric album
*New Rilo Kiley tomorrow!!!! *edit: today!

I have a good feeling about this semester. Kind of like that Cursive song that ends with repetitions of "the worst is over," because it is for right now, or it wouldn't be life, and that's what makes it exciting. I am lucky. You are lucky.

We're all just lucky to be alive.
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(no subject) [Jan. 18th, 2007|10:16 pm]
45 of the most random things you probably never needed to know about someone
whats your name spelt backwards?:elocin
What did you do last night?:Worked, went home, read and fell asleep.
The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?:A picture.
Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?:no.
Last time you swam in a pool?:Oooh. In September at Der-der's.
What are you wearing?:Jeans, black shirt, hoodie.
How many cars have you owned?:2. Volkswagen Fox and Honda Civic.
Type of music you dislike most?:Hmm...crappy music?
Are you registered to vote?:yes.
Do you have cable?:no. I'm not home enough.
What kind of computer do you use?:mac.
Ever made a prank phone call?:yeah
You like anyone right now?:yes
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?:yes. maybe.
Furthest place you ever traveled?:Canada.
What's your favorite comic strip?:Don't really have one. Red Meat is funny.
Do u know all the words to the national anthem?:no
Shower, morning or night?:Morning.
Best movie you've seen in the past month?:Well, I rewatched Shopgirl.
Favorite pizza toppings?:cheese and green olives. weird i know.
Chips or popcorn?:chips
What cell phone provider do you have?:verizon
Have you ever smoked peanut shells?:yes. yesterday.
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?:no.
Orange Juice or apple?:OJ
Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?:I atte lunch while walking to class today.
favorite chocolate bar?:Dove!
Who is your longest friend and how long?:Nicole D. And about 13 years.
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?:long time ago.
Have you ever won a trophy?:I have a plaque.
Favorite arcade game?:Tetris!
Ever ordered from an infomercial?:No, I wish.
Sprite or 7-UP?:7-up
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?:Yes, who hasn't. I kinda miss the WO uniforms.
Last thing you bought at Walgreens?:candy
Ever thrown up in public?:yes.
Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?:A millionare then I can buy my love. Muahahahaaaa!
Do you believe in love at first sight?:love, not so much. lust, yes.
Did you have long hair as a young kid?:no. I had bowl and buzz cuts. yeah. seriously.
What message is on your voicemail machine?:People say I sound sad but I'm not.
Where would you like to go right now?:awwwwww
Whats the name of your pet?:Blanca-wanca
What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?:Jansport. School stuff.
What do you think about most?:life, love, the pursuit of happiness.
Take this survey | Find more surveys
Bzoink - The Original Survey Site
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(no subject) [Nov. 6th, 2006|02:09 am]
i wish i could fall asleep before 3 a.m. I wish I was a little bit taller I wish I was a baller.
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(no subject) [Oct. 24th, 2006|12:48 am]
People don't really read this but I just can't contain my excitement.
Audrey Hepburn for Halloween?
I HAVE to pull it off.
ok, back to linguistics.....
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incomplete musings [Oct. 7th, 2006|02:13 pm]
[Current Location |home. in bed.]
[mood |calmcalm]
[music |neko case]

-This woman died fighting for something real, leaving behind a daughter and son. She was a dying breed...

-I read something that made me question what I do everyday today....even though it is written by someone whom I don't identify with politically, I still thought this was beautiful...

You claim to know something of beauty, but don't recognize the song of summer and love. The rhythms of hearts pumping blood, faster, not for fear, but because it might be their last. Pumping fast, last chance before spilling, staining the earth. Tell me, what do you do as the bombs fall... as the humvees roll through blaring "leave town or die"... as my son clutches a rifle, for his brother...as the buildings fall around you and the earth shakes with anger...do you hold your child's hand, try to comfort him back to innocence? Do you cook an exquisite meal with a few dried herbs and your last hen? Do you taste the sweat on your lover's flesh, cradle his head in your lap? Stay up to watch the sun beat back the night? Do you close your eyes to dream or do you fight? Do you pray?

Tell me, how do you mark the days - when each beauty could be your last. I want to know, how do you choose?

We'll call forth beauty, i swear to you...in a promise pressed in place by boots caked in mud, scraps of life, bits of blood, caked in dreams, stepped on, but not disgraced. We'll call forth beauty that sends spasms into space and runs marathons in one place.

We'll call forth beauty with our beating hearts and breathing chests. Our beauty will outlive you and out sing you. It will dance in warm rains and saturate the air.
-Sunsara Taylor

It made me think, we live our lifes so fast, before you know it you're 30 years old, what do you have to show for it? Do we really recognize the beauty in our everyday actions, or think about how lucky we are to be in good health, good spirits and most of all good nature? We spend so much time in analysis, in reverie, but are we really living in REALITY?

When I was in middle school, I loathed everything, like most 13 year olds do. I hated myself, my friends, my family and thought everyone else was to blame for my problems except me. And so it goes. Growing older, I placed my own happiness in the hands of others, whether it be a friend or lover, I never really knew how to make myself live in reality, I was always in a constant state of denial. Through tearful break ups with friends and lovers, I eventually learned the ins and outs of how to be alone.
Throughout the past year, it's been different though, I've learned what I love like never before. I've amazed others around me and most of all I've amazed myself. Even though I know the past year hasn't been the best one I've ever had...it's probably been the hardest...I'm the happiest I've ever been. I truly wake up everyday with a insatiable fervor for life. I've learned so much about my capabilities, but I could only learn through adversity.
Last year, I had a seizure. A grand-mal seizue to be exact. I was walking down the street in broad daylight, reading the Wildcat after a class (walking while reading, yes) and before I knew it, everything was bright, and it was blocking my view from the words in front of me. In a split second, I was in a stretcher atop freshly mowed grass in front of a sorority house. A muscular man with sandy blonde hair was hovering over me. "What's going on?" I asked in an clouded state. "You had a seizure."
I remember one of my middle school friends telling me about seizues, her cousin was an epileptic. Sometimes he would shake uncontrollably, lose his bowels and people would have to shove a blunt object into his mouth to prevent him from swallowing his tongue. I was amazed. This happened to me? How? Besides not knowing where I was, what the time was or even how to contact my mother, I had no idea what just happened to me. As a self-proclaimed hypocondriac who looks up every ailment possible, I had lost control. The previous evening, I had been sitting at home watching my favorite television show with my head in his lap, I was in paradise, and now I was tightly strapped to a stretcher en route to UMC via ambulance?
I would like to continue this but I don't have enough time right now....ha, ha to be continued....
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(no subject) [Sep. 12th, 2006|03:15 pm]
the new justin timberlake is amazing!!!!
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I wish it was cold outside. [Aug. 1st, 2006|05:04 pm]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |The Sleepy Jackson- Personality]

Cold hearted memories of us driving, and we didn’t know where but we just went anyways. Up the long winding roads of the town we both wanted to get out of, increasing in elevation, increasing in love, increasing in the fact that we knew our time was temporary.
Perched on the playground where we first spoke of our ever-growing infatutation, that first kiss was filled with empty promises and overzealous loneliness.
Sitting and not knowing and then realizing that it was just right.
We drove up the long windy road and you understood me better than anyone in an instant. We walked up the hills and we lost our breath because we stole the oxygen that flowed through our tired bodies away from each other.
And so it goes.
And so we made it official wth chopsticks and peachy colors. And it was just right. Until it couldn’t have been worse. And I wish it were me and I wish I did all the harm or just walked away but that fucking faith I had and will never have again because it failed me oh, in the worst way.
And it’s what saved me from saving myself from you.
I remember that cold night when we drove up that long windy road for the last time- and we both knew it. I knew this was an end to those means.
Any apologies were redundant and reveled in self-indulgence because I believe you never bestowed upon me the power of your loveliness, or ugliness for that matter my dear.
As I took drags of my cigarette I let those tears flood my face to make up for that drought and I drove up the long windy road, I looked into your eyes and I knew that I loved you more than anyone in my entire life.
And I knew you had torn apart my muscles and eaten the flesh in front of my own eyes and I relunctantly never wanted to accept that you would never love me the way I wanted to be loved
Your eyes gleamed like a sad child pleading for some sort of forgiveness, something you knew wasn’t there. We sat and cried in each other’s arms and for a moment I felt the connection that we knew we broke, and it fizzled baby, like that love you had before. We talked about the problems about why we wouldn’t be together and we knew it. And we knew it had to be it because we would be crazy if it wasn’t and we were already deemed crazy for taking it this far.
But we loved each other, or so it goes, but we knew those hot nights filled with sappy rock ballads and lovely pieces of lust were broken and now I still cant listen to those bands and I hope you know that.
I miss you, I miss every part of you, good and bad. I miss you telling me you love me, telling me you can’t live without me, and I wish it were true. I remember telling you that you had me, underneath it all I was always yours and I always would be and you assured me this would be reciporicated. I said maybe, just maybe we can. I miss your eyes and the way you would kiss me so hard like you knew I’d be gone in a matter of months.
I miss those days of nothingness, those moments of sweet and simple caress yet complicated emotions.
Now I’m done.
I’m almost nothing in your eyes, but now I know I'm something, and someone you will remember forever because you told me that one night when you had gone off the deep-end again.
Even though I know it's wrong, more than anything I wish I could return to those simple days, the days of driving and we don’t know where, the days of loving and we don’t know why, and the nights of sobbing when we have to let go.
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totally cliche [Jun. 28th, 2006|08:00 pm]
[mood |cheerfulcheerful]
[music |okkervil river- kansas city]

Two Names You Go By:
1. nicolette
2.santa cruz

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. a green-striped dress
2. brown mary janes

Two things You Would Want in a Relationship:
1. trust
2. companionship

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. making newspapers
2. being with friends

Two Things You Want Really Badly At The Moment:
1. To be done with moving my stuff.
2. My house to be painted without me lifting a finger.

Two pets you had/have:
1. Blanca-wanca
2. Serei

Two people who will fill this out:
1. ?
2. ?

Two things you did last night:
1. put a newspaper together
2. went to class

Two things you ate today:
1. pizza
2. brownies

Two people you Last Talked To:
1. Mallory
2. Pooder

Two Things You're doing tomorrow:
1. moving
2. going to hang out for Sean's birthday. :)

Two longest car rides:
1. Tucson to Austin Texas.
2. Tucson to LA. (I know I don't have long ones)

Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Halloween
2. New Year's

Two favorite Alcoholic beverages:
1. vodka cranberry
2. tokyo island

Two Things You Can't Live Without:
1. my family
2. my friends
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truly madly deeply wrong. [May. 19th, 2006|04:29 pm]
blah. i'm tired. time to go home.

books to read:
The Grouchy Grammarian
Elephants of Style
The Complete Wine Course

time to do it:
2 days to 2 weeks.

I'mah getting things a' rollin. Off to buffalo to purchase my new dress inspired by The Graduate....
Does anyone read this anymore?
I feel like myspace has sucked everyone into submission to lame elitist avant-garde profile pages, and bathoom pictures.
I'm not really providing any true education/elightenment either, this place is sort of my vehicle for jotting down notes, so don't take it seriously.

Productive weekend in store-
Sat- Sabino Canyon/Work
Sun-Car Wash (yes, I actually have to set aside time to wash my car!)/Work
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Procrastination [May. 18th, 2006|09:13 pm]
[mood |busybusy]
[music |jem- 24]

Today was awesome. For the first day in awhile, I got to take a daytime power nap! Now I am ready to study photojournalism notes! Whoo hoo!
So I have a plan for next week:
-Wake up everyday at 7 a.m.- go to rec center, work out until 8:30.
-Go to class from 9-10:45
-Go to Wildcat from 11-4 or 5, or longer, depending on workin' and what needs to be done....
I really need to work out everyday so I have more energy for the day, I think it will provide a much-needed boost to my endorphins and help me be creative. Of course, I could be wrong,
I have so much on my mind, but I think I like it.
Life is good. I'm the luckiest girl in the world.
*the only thing that would make my life more complete is a boy. but not just any boy.....

Job posting: Single, passionate mexican-canadian female seeking non-commital companion of the opposite sex. Must have tanglible goals, want to change the world, and like good music (mix cds/tapes a plus). Must enjoy candlelight dinners, cuddling on the couch, and late-night games of Mad Libs. 2. Open toed sandals and baggy pants not accepted, must possess average fashion sense.
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ha-ha [Mar. 21st, 2006|04:20 pm]
You are Maryiln Monroe

A classic tortured beauty

You're the dream girl of many men

Yet they never seem to treat you right
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its time...again. [Jan. 12th, 2006|09:34 am]
[mood |calmcalm]

oh even though i worked all through winter break, it was still a nice recess from school and newspapering, oh yeah and also having to either pay 6 dollars to park everyday or walk to school. bikes are so unreliable.
my life is ordinary. i basically keep to myself and my boyfriend, and satisfy my cravings for human interaction with the interaction i receive all day at work or at school...other than that im just taxed.
new jobs are always fun and also scary and overwhelming at times, but i believe in time, i'll grow to love it. i'll probably keep my wild oats job until im almost graduated, the money is good and working there twice a week pays my bills.
doing the newspaper again, even with school and work, but i like it so there.
might be writing for Red/Blue, but we'll see.
i got a cute new shower curtain in honor of valentine's day. if you're near you should stop by and see it.
i have a soap dish to match it too.

this is why i usually never update.
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(no subject) [Dec. 13th, 2005|02:35 pm]
almost done with school.
now this was most definetly a semester i would rather forget.
there's a spaghetti squash on my kitchen table.
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End of the year surveyyyyy [Nov. 30th, 2005|05:06 pm]
[mood |calmcalm]

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
I started going to bars. I realized my own potential as a person and gained confidence in myself as an individual. (but that's not because of my alcoholism...or is it?)

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? hmmm. I don't even know if I made a resolution...but eh don't matter.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?no, thank god.

4. Did anyone close to you die? no, im lucky.

5. What countries did you visit? NONE! oh wait. I visited Tijuana for about an hour. It pissed me off, because I had to throw some stuff away :(

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? more money and more time.

7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 1, 2005- Moved out of my mom's house.
Awww. June 16,2005. First "real" date with Jeremy.
June 3, 2005, I think.- Scott's brother's wedding...most fun ever.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting a job at the Wildcat. Getting a new job at Bistro Zin. (Actually getting new jobs) Taking care of myself and not going too crazy even though I got a fake id. Moving out of my mom's house.

9. What was your biggest failure? Not doing really really good in school.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? no, i have an awesome immune system.

11. What was the best thing you bought? my editor pants from express. they are comfy and awesome to work in. oh yeah my i book and my ipod. hehe.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Sarah Beal

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Hmmm. Appalled no one....I dont hold my standards too high anymore. Depressed, eh I made myself depressed, not someone else.

14. Where did most of your money go? clothes. gas, alcohol, hair (until recently), make-up. school.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
getting a sudo journalism type job, falling in love with an amazing person, moving out of my mom's house.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2005?
The Sleepy Jackson
Broken Social Scene
Bloc Party

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier, stressed out but happy.
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter. i havent been working out at all and i have a boyfriend now so i've gained comfort weight.
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? more reading. more schooling. more saving of my money.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? nothing really.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? with my family.

22. Did you fall in love in 2005? well yes, yes i did.

23. How many one-night stands? one

24. What was your favorite TV program? hahaa i don't think its changed much from 2004, but Sex and The City, oh god how cliche. But I also really liked Its always sunny in philly too.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? hmmm. naw.

26. What was the best book you read? Dry By Augusten Burroughs

27. What were your greatest musical discoveries? hmmm. Probably Death From Above, or Bloc Party

28. What did you want and get? sex, and self-esteem.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? shopgirl.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i havent had my birthday yet this year...but I'm sure it will be fun.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005? hmmm. Me? I felt like I dressed well this year.

34. What kept you sane? myself. sarah beal when i can't do it.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? probably Jane Pratt, the editor of Jane magazine, but i don't really think shes much of a celebrity...maybe a public figure tho, I'll have to consult my law books.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Honestly, school politics...

37. Who did you miss? my mom and bob purvis

38. Who was the best new person you met? my boyfriend

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005: Learn to accept the things you cannot change.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: oh god i just thought of the corniest one, but i don't think ill share it.
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i think about yooou [Sep. 29th, 2005|04:11 pm]
[music |guns and roses- think about you]

today has been so busy. i am sitting waiting for an interviewee to call me. I've got two more after her. Then one more tomorrow. And I still have more phone calls to make. ooh boi.
but its ok. cuz its thursday night and im gonna make it alright. (with sarah beal)
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(no subject) [Sep. 26th, 2005|06:42 pm]
edamame = good.
raspberry vodka + sprite = good.
this is my dinner.
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representin' [Sep. 21st, 2005|08:45 am]
[mood |calmcalm]
[music |shower]

If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often,
you must reply with a memory of me. It can be anything you want -- good or bad, just as long as it happened.
Then post this up yourself and see what people remember about you.
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